The Gospel-Centered Woman website likes to post reviews of books we think would be good additions to your church book table or resource library. We recommend Inheritance of Tears: Trusting the Lord of Life When Death Visits the Womb by Jessalyn Hutto.
Tears may, and must come; but if they gather in eyes that are constantly looking up to (God) and heaven, they will glisten with the brightness of the coming glory.” ~Susannah Spurgeon
We were all supposed to leave for a weekend away at the coast– a mama’s get-away-weekend filled with snacks and walks and late-night-talking-laughing. But right before our departure date, a close friend who was going with us received the news that she had miscarried. The little life we’d rejoiced over just weeks before, had died and her heart was crushed. And then again, about six months later, she experience another leap of great joy followed by a blow of grief and sorrow.
Jessalyn Hutto wrote this book for my friend.
But she also wrote it for me.
Because when the pain of miscarriage overwhelms, “women don’t need empty platitudes or frivolous advice when their babies die: they need God and His Word! When crippled by such bewildering pain, suffering couples need truth to stand upon. They need fellow believers equipped to come alongside them in their time of grief– friends who understand their sorrow and can graciously and wisely offer the hope of the gospel, ”(Inheritance, pg. 12).
Jessalyn writes this book from a place of vulnerability and understanding as she shares the grief of her own miscarriages. This is not a book filled with quick, pat answers, but one that bravely addresses the many questions that surface when a parent experiences the loss of a child. So many of her words resonated with my heart (and brought tears) even as memories of our Selah’s death resurfaced.
I appreciate that Jessalyn doesn’t shy away from those questions that put a knot in my stomach. Is God really in control of all things? Is God really good? Why me, and why our child? What happens to babies who die? How can God use this in my life?
She also addresses the fear and anxiety that comes with facing death. In particular with miscarriage, she shares how “after a miscarriage, fear of loss threatens to eclipse the joy of each new pregnancy you are blessed with. Every day (during subsequent pregnancies) is a battle to trust God with the future of your unborn child…” (pg. 61).
I hesitate to even share those questions, because I know as a mama who has also lost a child to disease and death, that even in raising them– the fear-anger-panic will rise in many who have faced this kind of deep grief. But Jessalyn addresses each question in a tender, honest way as she shares her own wrestling and as she offers real hope that is rooted in God’s Word. If you are struggling through these grief questions, you will appreciate her willingness to allow for the struggle, to face the fears and to offer real answers that come from God.
This book is needed and I pray it will offer hope and healing to the many mothers (and fathers) whose lives have been pierced by the pain of miscarriage.
“The key is not to escape the grief that miscarriage brings, but to drive our souls into the shelter of Jesus’ gospel during that sorrow…” Jessalyn Hutto
By Kara Chupp. First posted at karachupp.com.